Exquisite Tweets from @pretendoffice

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#1 10:22am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon

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@rooreynolds We do, please see our blog site. Further posts are awaiting management stakeholder buy-in. Please subscribe to our Facebook.

#3 10:36am Aug 31st 2012 via Tweetbot for iOS in reply to rooreynolds

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@rooreynolds @rooreynolds Check out our web blog for hte latest news from our leading-edge change agents. Think global, act global!

#4 10:39am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to rooreynolds

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@pretendoffice Who are you? I thought I was the one with the access password for the @pretendofice Twitters. Please talk to digital engageme

#5 10:41am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice who are both of you? This is a restricted official Twitchannel those without authorisation should not be using it!

#6 10:44am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice Please ignore other unauthorised Twitters from this account. All officiall tweets will be signed off as OFFICIAL. OFFICIAL.

#7 10:47am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice You are not authorised to use this channel. immediately desist. Proper uses of @pretendoffice will be market AUTHORISED

#8 10:49am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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excellent advice from TweetSpecialists wallblog.co.uk/2011/10/11/how… AUTHORISED

#9 10:51am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client

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@Kenyahyc8h2nw8 If you would like assistance with your e-commerce operationals, please contact our Influx Team ASAP! OFFICIAL

#10 10:51am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to Kenyahyc8h2nw8

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@pretendoffice Please attend the compulsory Twitter Strategics twound twable in Sir Bradley Wiggins at mid day. OFFICIAL.

#11 10:54am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice Emergency escalation all hands customer experience meeting 11.45 in Dame Clare Balding. AUTHORISED

#12 10:56am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice NB: FAO ALL ASSOCAITES: End user engagement togetherness session will now be at 11.30 in Sarah Storey OBE. OFFICIAL.

#13 10:59am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@prentedoffice Urgent: all comms teams - Central user engagement action meeting will now be in the Oscar Pistorius suite at 11.15 AUTHORISED

#14 11:02am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client

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@pretendoffice ALL LEVELS ALERT: You must attend compulsory exterior outreaching TWOBRA committee at 11:10 in Eddie The Eagle Edwards. OFFIC

#15 11:05am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice ALL SOCIAL MEDIA SENIOR MGMT ASSOCIATES: mandatory emergency scrum in the Kate Middleton soft area Lvl3 NOW. AUTHORISED

#16 11:07am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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my classmate's half-sister made $12486 a month ago. she has been making cash on the computer and got a $550800 condo. All she did was get bl

#17 11:07am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client

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@pretendoffice ANYONE NOT AT THE MEETING IN PROGRESS NOW IN PRINCE HARRY’S DOWNSTAIRS SHOULD CLEAR THEIR PRODUCTIVITY PLATFORMS. OFFICIAL.

#18 11:09am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice ALL COLLEAGUES PLEASE EVACUATE CAMPUS 2&5 WHILE A SOCIAL MEDIA DECONTAMINATION TAKES PLACE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. AUTHORISED

#19 11:13am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice INITIATE CLOSEDOWN PROTOCOLS. ALL VALUED TEAM MEMBERS SHOULD IMMEDIATELY PROGRESS “FIRESTORM” ACTION. OFFICIAL.

#20 11:17am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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we apologise is resolving your pretend issue takes longer than usual today - bear with us while we work hard to re-establish pretend service

#21 11:18am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client

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@pretendoffice ALL TEAM MEMBERS SHOULD ASSEMBLE AT THIER MATRIX CAPTAIN'S CHOSEN SAFE POINT AS WE COMMENCE "SCORCHED_EARTH" ACTION

#22 11:19am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice ANYONE FOUND IN POSSESSION OF A TWITTER-CAPABALE DEVICE DURING THIS PERIOD IS VIABLE FOR “KILL THE PIG” PROCEDURES. OFFICIAL

#23 11:21am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice ALL PERSONNEL TO DEBRIEF IN THE SOCIAL MEDIA DECONTAMINATION ZONE. PLEASE COLLECTION YOUR GOWNS FROM TENT 7. AUTHORISED.

#24 11:24am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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@pretendoffice GOING DARK. any further communication on this twitter is not official and should be disregarded. AUTHORISED

#25 11:25am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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We have been hackneyed. Please reset your passwords and reboot your Windows. Security dogs are coming through, please hide your meeting bisc

#26 11:25am Aug 31st 2012 via Tweetbot for iOS

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@pretendoffice Survivors are requested to ensure the work of all defunctioned colleagues is completed before end of play. OFFICIAL.

#27 11:26am Aug 31st 2012 via Echofon in reply to pretendoffice

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Hi this is Limahl, I'll be your pretend twitterjockey for the day. Your tweet is important to us.

#28 11:28am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client

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@pretendoffice all colleagues on site are requested for an emergency debrief in Captain Sensible auditorium at 5.

#29 11:30am Aug 31st 2012 via Twitter Web Client in reply to pretendoffice

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